Today I am exhausted. We had a meeting with the staff and family at the care center yesterday. Mom has not progressed and we decided to go ahead and take the IV off. She is not swallowing and today has not responded the entire day. Talking with the staff, we had all given her our best efforts to see if she could improve. Our experience with Dad in 1994 was he had no response at all and after several years of failing health, we were definitely sure that he would not want to lay there with a feeding tube. Mom was in on that decision and she lovingly took him home, put a hospital bed in the living room and with the help of the family and hospice, cared for him for about 4 days until he died.
This decision for Mom was harder. She has barely had any health problems in her life. No surgeries, only 6 births. Dementia had set in and we were getting concerned about leaving her alone during the day. My sister had been researching plans to get her help. Now, after trying to get her to swallow and get strength in her body, we have realized it is not going to be so.
The time together conversing with my siblings while in Mom's room has been enlightening and full of memories.
My concern for her spiritually has been at the top of my list. And my spiritual journey of the past few years has caused me to be more open minded about other people's spiritual journeys. For one thing, I have done what I could to share salvation with her, although I am not perfect in that area. She is a very private person with her thoughts and convictions. She enjoys Gaither tapes and songs and also old hymns. Julie found old hymns in her hand writing the other day. She always liked the CD that Rick, me, Julie, Lori and Michael recorded several years ago. I was tickled pink when some time back she asked me for the words to the song "Come As You Are". The words are "Jesus will take you just come as you are." I do know now more than ever that our relationship with God is a one on one and that God is such a faithful God. I can keep my hand open and trust God as I offer Mom's care to Him.
Pray for us all as the decisions and needs are pressing in on us today. For more on Mom go here.